Combat take two

Okay, so I totally let myself slide back to a worse place than I was before I started this blog.  So with renewed vigor I am going to attempt to lose the weight all over again.  Le sigh.

Now that I am done with travelling, I can focus on building better habits.  My main aids in this are going to be HabitRPG and my shiny new fitbit.  HabitRPG is a great website that allows you to track your habits and assign yourself with to-dos and daily tasks that earn you XP.  When you reach level ten you get to chose a class and gain skills that help you on your journey to be a better person.  Their slogan is very appropo, "Gamify your life".  You can also make a party with friends and slay monsters like the "endless dishes monster" and earn cool prizes.  you also find pets and level them up to steeds.  The mobile version of the app kinda blows but it is a great tool in building better habits.

witness my shiny new biometric reader

I got a fitbit charge HR which I LOVE!  The fact that it measures your heartbeat and then uses that to calculate how many calories you burned the whole day instead of a really vague guesstimate of calories burned during activity (really 60 minutes of walking is only 200 calories? really?).  Mike, my husband, has gotten one too, and so it really fosters competition between us.  It lasts for about 5 days if you don't obsessively check your steps and calorie burn every two seconds (totally guilty of that on the first day). The app connects to myfitnesspal.com which I use to track food and it connects to the fitbit for a "calorie adjustment".  Fitbit also has an in app food tracker, but I like myfitnesspal's database better.  I might switch over to fitbit only, but it won't be for a while since I have all of Combat's recipes already loaded into myfitnesspal.

I am keeping to my new year's resolution of just doing my best and not getting down on myself if I have a cheat day.  I just know that combat works for me, and I can do it!

Hey guys! I can almost touch my toes!

A big part of achieving my goal to be cast as Velma (or Roxie) in Chicago is to take dance classes.  It has been about 10 years since I have taken formal dance classes and those classes weren't that formal (sorry Grace).  I've done sporatic dancing in many different styles, but I need pure jazz and I need to be awesome at it if I want to be able to do this:

Catherine Zeta Jones was pregnant will shooting this movie!

When I went to General auditions at Hillbarn, the audition attendant told me about Dance Art Center.  He said that they are very good for technique and they have lots of ties to local theater companies, especially Hillbarn.  So I sat on it, and sat, and I sat, but then, the announcement came and I took the plunge.  They offer Adult Jazz four times a week and other dance classes. Perfect!  Well, the four times a week is different levels, and I didn't listen to them and came on a Saturday and ended up taking the most advanced Jazz class.  I survived, barely, but I didn't feel like I could ask questions because I was the noob in the expert class.  Then I took the Wednesday class that was intermediate and it was better, but I still felt like a complete jackass that I wasn't picking up on the combination.  It was partially the terminology that I heard before but never actually knew what it was and the fact that my feet refused to move quick enough.  The Thursday class was beginning adult jazz and it was great because I finally got the terminology and the speed was acceptable and they gave me the warm up sequence.  It was funny in the more advanced classes, cause the instructors seemed to think I was going to leave in a huff and never come back, but I know my level and I am also very motivated to work on my skill level.  I have to say that I feel great after just three classes.  I can almost touch my toes, which is quite a feat considering I could barely reach my mid calf.

What I really love about dancing and martial arts is that you are working your body, but you are also getting in touch with how your muscles move and work.  A stretch that seems easy because crazy difficult when you really consciously keep your shoulders down.  This in-tuneness with your body is great when you are trying to lose weight, because although you might not look like the person you have in your head, you feel a little bit more like them.  By working on my core, I feel tighter and less flabby and I am feeling stronger, so I admit it shocks me when I look in the mirror and I see my round belly and floppy arms.  But I'm not going to let the mirror discourage me,  I think I'm awesome, I feel awesome and that is what is important!

So very much this:

Video from Buzzfeed

This is why I've come to terms with the fact that I don't handle diets very well.  I'm really good for about a week and then I crash, hard.  Instead of completely denying myself certain foods, I instead am just trying to stay in a prescribed calorie limit.  That means if I choose to eat a slice of cake, I have to swap out my Hamburger for a salad.  So far it's been okay, there have been days when I have failed, but it is okay to slip up now and again.  What is important is to keep the overall trend below the prescribed calorie limit.  I'm also trying to make sure I have a proper nutritional content within these calories, so I'm eating what my body needs to do what it does.

I dislike fad diets, or those list of FOODS YOU SHOULD NEVER EAT AGAIN!!!!!  Until I see a well documented scientific paper with quantifiable data I shall continue to eat bananas because a) they are delicious and b) without their phosphate I get the WORST charlie horses.

Being healthy is about making choices, not complete denial of everything except lemons and cayenne pepper.  I think I'll keep doing as I do to prevent the destruction of any cake within a mile radius.

The benefit of having a clear and very defined goal

Goals, like New Year resolutions, are easy to make but hard to keep.  Things just always come up or your body just isn't on the same wavelength as you.  I also don't deal well with nebulous goals, or goals that don't really have a consequence.  For example, I started this blog with the idea that if I lost a pound a week, I would be at my ideal weight of 150 lbs by my birthday a year later.  Seemed like a reasonable goal easy to achieve.  I didn't have a reason to shed the pounds besides just wanting to be healthier and not suffer the same shame I felt two years ago when that choreographer made me feel like a fat slob.

That same show, I got to do one of my dreams and perform the cell block tango as Velma.  I took Velma because it was my idea and this was going to be the only time I would ever get to do it.  I had a blast and I felt sexy and awesome, until I saw myself on film.  I hated how I looked and even though everyone tells me I am beautiful and I'm all about that bass, I know that if I continue to look like this I will never even be considered (unless I had a kickass voice like my friend Jennifer Wiener).  I know it is about having confidence in yourself and owning your body, but until you love yourself, you can't do it, and I was at a particularly low point in my self love at that point.

After getting passed over for two sets of general musical auditions at Broadway by the Bay and Hillbarn, I decided to get vocal lessons, dance lessons and really try to lose some weight so I would look more the part and gain some confidence in myself.  I told myself that this was really in preparation in case any theater within a reasonable distance was going to do Chicago in the future.  So I got some vocie lessons, didn't take any dance lessons because of stupid scheduling things, and I managed to lose nine pounds and 2.5 inches off my waist.  Then work started up again and I was in the best play ever (the Importance of being Earnest) and referencing my previous post about my show eating habits, the weight and the inches all came back.

I decided a few weeks ago that instead of feeling sorry for myself and eating my emotions I was going to make my health a priority and start eating better (more fresh foods) and exercising (cue the second round of Combat).  Things were going pretty smoothly, but I honestly could feel myself losing motivation.  It is tough to work from 7-5 and then work out, cook for you and the husband, and then clean, and just muddle through adult life.  Then I got the biggest boost to my motivation EVER.  Woodside Community Theater is doing CHICAGO!!!!!!!!  OMG!  This is my moment, my chance, and I have until late May early June to get into fighting form.  It is on!  This is what I've been waiting for and wanting since we did that lip-sync in 2013.

I have signed up with a vocal coach (first lesson is Friday!), I have signed up for dance lessons (my first one is on Saturday!), and I'm going to make Combat my bitch (-.  I'm also going to be healthy about it, meaning that I still only want to lose 1 to 1.5 pounds per week.  I want to shed it and keep it off, cause when I get it (fingers crossed) I want to be able to flaunt it!

Wish me luck and if anyone wants to join in on the dance classes or get together for karoke you know where to find me!

Side Bar: so I found the post I wrote about this two years ago: