Friday, January 30, 2015

Hey guys! I can almost touch my toes!

A big part of achieving my goal to be cast as Velma (or Roxie) in Chicago is to take dance classes.  It has been about 10 years since I have taken formal dance classes and those classes weren't that formal (sorry Grace).  I've done sporatic dancing in many different styles, but I need pure jazz and I need to be awesome at it if I want to be able to do this:
Catherine Zeta Jones was pregnant will shooting this movie!

When I went to General auditions at Hillbarn, the audition attendant told me about Dance Art Center.  He said that they are very good for technique and they have lots of ties to local theater companies, especially Hillbarn.  So I sat on it, and sat, and I sat, but then, the announcement came and I took the plunge.  They offer Adult Jazz four times a week and other dance classes. Perfect!  Well, the four times a week is different levels, and I didn't listen to them and came on a Saturday and ended up taking the most advanced Jazz class.  I survived, barely, but I didn't feel like I could ask questions because I was the noob in the expert class.  Then I took the Wednesday class that was intermediate and it was better, but I still felt like a complete jackass that I wasn't picking up on the combination.  It was partially the terminology that I heard before but never actually knew what it was and the fact that my feet refused to move quick enough.  The Thursday class was beginning adult jazz and it was great because I finally got the terminology and the speed was acceptable and they gave me the warm up sequence.  It was funny in the more advanced classes, cause the instructors seemed to think I was going to leave in a huff and never come back, but I know my level and I am also very motivated to work on my skill level.  I have to say that I feel great after just three classes.  I can almost touch my toes, which is quite a feat considering I could barely reach my mid calf.

What I really love about dancing and martial arts is that you are working your body, but you are also getting in touch with how your muscles move and work.  A stretch that seems easy because crazy difficult when you really consciously keep your shoulders down.  This in-tuneness with your body is great when you are trying to lose weight, because although you might not look like the person you have in your head, you feel a little bit more like them.  By working on my core, I feel tighter and less flabby and I am feeling stronger, so I admit it shocks me when I look in the mirror and I see my round belly and floppy arms.  But I'm not going to let the mirror discourage me,  I think I'm awesome, I feel awesome and that is what is important!

Thursday, January 29, 2015

So very much this:

Video from Buzzfeed

This is why I've come to terms with the fact that I don't handle diets very well.  I'm really good for about a week and then I crash, hard.  Instead of completely denying myself certain foods, I instead am just trying to stay in a prescribed calorie limit.  That means if I choose to eat a slice of cake, I have to swap out my Hamburger for a salad.  So far it's been okay, there have been days when I have failed, but it is okay to slip up now and again.  What is important is to keep the overall trend below the prescribed calorie limit.  I'm also trying to make sure I have a proper nutritional content within these calories, so I'm eating what my body needs to do what it does.

I dislike fad diets, or those list of FOODS YOU SHOULD NEVER EAT AGAIN!!!!!  Until I see a well documented scientific paper with quantifiable data I shall continue to eat bananas because a) they are delicious and b) without their phosphate I get the WORST charlie horses.

Being healthy is about making choices, not complete denial of everything except lemons and cayenne pepper.  I think I'll keep doing as I do to prevent the destruction of any cake within a mile radius.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

The benefit of having a clear and very defined goal

Goals, like New Year resolutions, are easy to make but hard to keep.  Things just always come up or your body just isn't on the same wavelength as you.  I also don't deal well with nebulous goals, or goals that don't really have a consequence.  For example, I started this blog with the idea that if I lost a pound a week, I would be at my ideal weight of 150 lbs by my birthday a year later.  Seemed like a reasonable goal easy to achieve.  I didn't have a reason to shed the pounds besides just wanting to be healthier and not suffer the same shame I felt two years ago when that choreographer made me feel like a fat slob.

That same show, I got to do one of my dreams and perform the cell block tango as Velma.  I took Velma because it was my idea and this was going to be the only time I would ever get to do it.  I had a blast and I felt sexy and awesome, until I saw myself on film.  I hated how I looked and even though everyone tells me I am beautiful and I'm all about that bass, I know that if I continue to look like this I will never even be considered (unless I had a kickass voice like my friend Jennifer Wiener).  I know it is about having confidence in yourself and owning your body, but until you love yourself, you can't do it, and I was at a particularly low point in my self love at that point.

After getting passed over for two sets of general musical auditions at Broadway by the Bay and Hillbarn, I decided to get vocal lessons, dance lessons and really try to lose some weight so I would look more the part and gain some confidence in myself.  I told myself that this was really in preparation in case any theater within a reasonable distance was going to do Chicago in the future.  So I got some vocie lessons, didn't take any dance lessons because of stupid scheduling things, and I managed to lose nine pounds and 2.5 inches off my waist.  Then work started up again and I was in the best play ever (the Importance of being Earnest) and referencing my previous post about my show eating habits, the weight and the inches all came back.

I decided a few weeks ago that instead of feeling sorry for myself and eating my emotions I was going to make my health a priority and start eating better (more fresh foods) and exercising (cue the second round of Combat).  Things were going pretty smoothly, but I honestly could feel myself losing motivation.  It is tough to work from 7-5 and then work out, cook for you and the husband, and then clean, and just muddle through adult life.  Then I got the biggest boost to my motivation EVER.  Woodside Community Theater is doing CHICAGO!!!!!!!!  OMG!  This is my moment, my chance, and I have until late May early June to get into fighting form.  It is on!  This is what I've been waiting for and wanting since we did that lip-sync in 2013.

I have signed up with a vocal coach (first lesson is Friday!), I have signed up for dance lessons (my first one is on Saturday!), and I'm going to make Combat my bitch (-.  I'm also going to be healthy about it, meaning that I still only want to lose 1 to 1.5 pounds per week.  I want to shed it and keep it off, cause when I get it (fingers crossed) I want to be able to flaunt it!

Wish me luck and if anyone wants to join in on the dance classes or get together for karoke you know where to find me!

Side Bar: so I found the post I wrote about this two years ago:

I feel like I hit a major turning point

McDonald chicken nuggets are no longer delicious.

I didn't believe this day would ever come.  I used to crave them, and the salty deliciousness of McDonald's fries. But now they taste disgusting and my body literally rejects them.

When I'm in production for a play, my eating habits become worse than shit.  Usually the only thing I can grab quickly is fast food of some variety.  In high school, we had the mom's keep us straight by cooking delicious dinners for us and we had regular dinner and snack breaks.  In college, the cafeteria was open at all hours, so it was grab a slice of pizza before rehearsal, burn it off, then grab 2 more slices after rehearsal, one for now and the other for after cramming in homework.  I think i ODed on pizza during those years, because I didn't eat a single slice of pizza for like two whole years after graduating, but recently the cravings for pizza hit me strong.  But at least pizza has an iota of nutritional value since it contains many of the food groups.  Now that I'm an adult and doing a lot more theater than I used to I miss having either a mom to cook food for me or a cafeteria with a semblance of healthy food.  My choices are sandwich from the local deli, but hurry cause it closes at 5:00, or the 24hr McDonald's.

I know, I know.  It is my choice to do theater in my free time, so I should plan better by cooking meals ahead of time and bringing them to rehearsal and blah blah blah.  Ain't no one got time for that!  Also many of the theaters and rehearsal spaces I've working in don't have microwaves, and I can't stomach cold soup or pasta.  So McDonald's and then a late night Denny's run has been my pattern.

But no longer will I answer the siren call of the golden arches.  I will try to plan better and bring food that isn't messy or require radiation to eat.  If must buy nourishment and it must be quick, I will go for a sandwich before I ever eat that fried goop again.  I'm going to try to resist the fourth meal temptations by bringing fruit and cheese as snacks to rehearsals and shows.  But nothing is more delicious than chocolate chip pancakes after a performance :).

Soda is still a major temptation, but let's just take it one at a time shall we?.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Man, fuck the holidays

Not really no, but I thought I was being good.  My clothes must have shrunk in the dryer.  It turns out I was in denial.  All of my hard work over the summer was gone.  I gained it all back. :(

I don't just blame the holidays, I also blame work and fun like being in plays getting in the way.  It was really hard to find even thrity minutes to exercise, and I'm finding this week, it takes a lot of time to plan out your meals.

No matter what the reason, I don't like how tight my clothes are and so it is a priority to get healthy.  I'd like to loose 1 pound a week and keep it off.   I'm going to do Combat again because I actually lost over ten pounds last time, so I know it works.  It is all about balancing everything else.

I am going to do my best and just move forward.  I will try not to beat myself up if I don't make my weekly goal, instead I will strategize what I can do to make it work better for me.

Wish me luck and I wish you all the best on your journeys toward being healthier!