Goals, like New Year resolutions, are easy to make but hard to keep. Things just always come up or your body just isn't on the same wavelength as you. I also don't deal well with nebulous goals, or goals that don't really have a consequence. For example, I started this blog with the idea that if I lost a pound a week, I would be at my ideal weight of 150 lbs by my birthday a year later. Seemed like a reasonable goal easy to achieve. I didn't have a reason to shed the pounds besides just wanting to be healthier and not suffer the same shame I felt two years ago when that choreographer made me feel like a fat slob.
That same show, I got to do one of my dreams and perform the cell block tango as Velma. I took Velma because it was my idea and this was going to be the only time I would ever get to do it. I had a blast and I felt sexy and awesome, until I saw myself on film. I hated how I looked and even though everyone tells me I am beautiful and I'm all about that bass, I know that if I continue to look like this I will never even be considered (unless I had a kickass voice like my friend Jennifer Wiener). I know it is about having confidence in yourself and owning your body, but until you love yourself, you can't do it, and I was at a particularly low point in my self love at that point.
After getting passed over for two sets of general musical auditions at Broadway by the Bay and Hillbarn, I decided to get vocal lessons, dance lessons and really try to lose some weight so I would look more the part and gain some confidence in myself. I told myself that this was really in preparation in case any theater within a reasonable distance was going to do Chicago in the future. So I got some vocie lessons, didn't take any dance lessons because of stupid scheduling things, and I managed to lose nine pounds and 2.5 inches off my waist. Then work started up again and I was in the best play ever (the Importance of being Earnest) and referencing my previous post about my show eating habits, the weight and the inches all came back.
I decided a few weeks ago that instead of feeling sorry for myself and eating my emotions I was going to make my health a priority and start eating better (more fresh foods) and exercising (cue the second round of Combat). Things were going pretty smoothly, but I honestly could feel myself losing motivation. It is tough to work from 7-5 and then work out, cook for you and the husband, and then clean, and just muddle through adult life. Then I got the biggest boost to my motivation EVER. Woodside Community Theater is doing CHICAGO!!!!!!!! OMG! This is my moment, my chance, and I have until late May early June to get into fighting form. It is on! This is what I've been waiting for and wanting since we did that lip-sync in 2013.
I have signed up with a vocal coach (first lesson is Friday!), I have signed up for dance lessons (my first one is on Saturday!), and I'm going to make Combat my bitch (-. I'm also going to be healthy about it, meaning that I still only want to lose 1 to 1.5 pounds per week. I want to shed it and keep it off, cause when I get it (fingers crossed) I want to be able to flaunt it!
Wish me luck and if anyone wants to join in on the dance classes or get together for karoke you know where to find me!
Side Bar: so I found the post I wrote about this two years ago: